That title isn't

a reference to bus drivers on strike at the beginning of a bright sunny week. Rather, it is a reflection on how quickly worldly honours (glories) can vanish into oblivion, whether through conquest, or self-destruction via overweening hubris.

Take, for instance politicians. (Please.) OTOH, they paint a glorious picture of how great will be their reign if the electorate will hand them and their party the keys to the empire. But all too often once elected, reasons are found not to do what was promised on the hustings, while others are trumped up for doing the very things they promised they wouldn't do, even excoriated their predecessors for doing. Still, most kings, emperors and CEOs restrain from tearing down the entire governing structure, policy framework, defining documents, and social contract, so to leave nothing when they pass from the scene to their proper place in the afterlife. Neither is it common for the new leader of an enterprise (whether governmental or commercial) to discard its brand and adopt that of a hostile competitor, then throw sand in the face of long time allies. Such an emperor might be seen to have no moral clothes.

Meanwhile, Apple has spent decades

positioning itself as the premium brand for the ordinary Josephine wanting a quality product and a safe working environment. It seems bizarre that in the face of a U.K government bent on destroying all semblance of privacy for the sake of corralling a few extra criminals, Cupertino has been forced to abandon encryption of user data in order to do business in the old empire. Expect the dead hand of other governments to likewise overreach into the lives and letters of their citizens without limit or restraint, until "Big Brother" has unfettered access to our every thought 24-7. Come to think of it (whoops, not a good idea!) is that why the fellow billionaire overseer/keeper of the president who is newly so hostile to the "true north strong and free" that he wants to erase its freedom, has gotten into brain chip implants?" Hmmmm.

Then again, after likewise positioning itself lo these many years as a champion of assorted minorities Apple blithely bought future credits with the new government by funneling a million dollars into the inauguration of a hater of minorities--a political u-turn so sharp it's a wonder Tim Cook hasn't broken his neck. Will paying such homage be sufficient to buy an exemption when the wrecking ball now destroying government swings in the direction of corporations deemed insufficiently obsequious to the new regime?

On the positive side for the Cupertino giant, the Spy notes the advent of the C1 5G modem in the iPhone 16e-an achievement many difficult years in the making, and that marks a predictable further distancing from using critical parts made by others to bring one more key component of its ecosystem in house. Three points here, though. First, this is the initial iteration of a brand new product containing technology never before produced by the company. Early adopters beware: there will be bugs. Wait till at least the third iteration.The Spy's current pocket brain is an unintelligent iPhone 12 Pro Max. When it approaches unsupported status, say around the 18th or 19th edition sporting the C5 chip, he might spring for new. Well, his previous model was a 6, so… Second, not only did this take a great deal of time and effort, the pace of true innovation at Apple has been glacial lately. (Whoops, bad metaphor. In the light of the fast changing climate, glaciers are changing by retreating faster than almost everything these days.) Now third, the one thing in the ecosystem where Apple has no foothold is the communications network itself. The Spy re-launches a bold idea here. After the department of DOME (Musk efficiency) lays off its least productive, most disruptive, and possibly last employee, Apple could buy Starlink out of bankruptcy with petty cash, thus adding not just adding a key service, but enhancing its entire hardware line, and most notably also its streaming services.

Speaking of spring,

it has apparently sprung here in the frozen north. The grass may not have riz yet, but the Spy's snowdrops and crocuses are already blooming. Yet, it was a mere two weeks ago that the same yard was covered in 45cm of snow. Canada inched away from imperial units decades ago, and there are only two or three countries still using them, but perhaps that is now quite fitting in the new isolationist chapter. Oddly, the U.S adopted the metric system in 1866 and made it legally preferential in 1975, but most people there prefer Imperial units.

The saga of the tracking numbers revisited

Last month the Spy told the sad tale of a shipment of copies of his newly published book, a comedy of errors for Purolator, which aborted a delivery after finding no one working on campus of Christmas Eve (surprise! Who'da thunk it?) Well, apparently once those poor books (by now battered as the Spy last month feared) reached the centre of the universe (Toronto, not Washington) a true genius at Purolator had the shipment destroyed, reportedly, if one believes it, with the permission of the shipper to whom the Purolator representative had repeatedly assured the Spy the books had been returned. Not.

Last month the Spy hit the pause button on this saga with the observation that "at every conceivable critical point of possible failure, lack of clear information and proper training in the use of a poorly designed and run system virtually guaranteed everything that could go wrong was certain to do so." He was wrong. There turned out to be more points of failure of which even the pessimist residing in one corner of his brain had not conceived. When he sent all this information to the company, all he got back was a mild "sorry for the inconvenience. We destroyed the damaged shipment. Contact the shipper." Did they really? The Spy radically doubts anyone there has a clue what they did or did not do. His recommendation: Avoid the gong show. Ship nothing via Purolator. Oh, yes, that's owned by crown corporation Canada Post. Yikes.

An finally, "A Modest Proposal

for Preventing the Unwanted States of a Poorly Functioning Nation from Being a Burthen to Their Parent Country, and for Making Them Beneficial to the Publick of Another." (Apologies to Jonathan Swift.)

Given that the proposal long bruited about to unite British Columbia, Washington and Oregon into a new nation called Cascadia has never gained much traction, and given that the idea to MAGA by annexing Canada has aroused equal parts hilarity, opprobrium, and universal enthusiastic patriotism here in the frozen north (something less common in bland Canada than in some countries), the Spy offers an alternative that should please everyone.

Rather than add Canada to the American empire in order to MAGA, do the opposite. The Spy proposes Canada generously extend an offer to create new provinces called Washington, Oregon, California, New England, New York, New Jersey, and Virginia (with DC). Toss in Michigan and any other border states or bits and pieces that want in, and rename the Great Lakes the "Canadian Lakes." The GOP states would be rid of the more Democratic ones for good, could establish a new capital in Area 51 led by a compliant alien president, and build a twenty foot high fence topped with cut glass and barbed wire around the whole of their domain, so no one of a different physical or political colour could enter, abolish schools and universities lest their citizens even be exposed to new ideas, impose 100% tariffs on everything to punish the rest of the world by taxing its own citizens, make climate cease to exist by executive order, erect bronze statues of emperor Musk on every street corner, and issue assault rifles to every person over ten years old--all of which would surely MAG.

Since CIAG (The post office and climate notwithstanding, Canada Is Already Great; order that T-shirt and hat.) this would be a win-win, and everybody should be happy, especially in the new provinces. True, both neighbours would continue to bumble along with sub-competent and somewhat grifty central governments that no one really wants, yet up with which we must put (to pseudo-channel Churchill), but there's nothing new, unusual, or surprising in that.

CIAG. Apply to become a Province now while the offer lasts. Don't wait. There may be a price increase.

--The Northern Spy

Opinions expressed here are entirely the author's own, and no endorsement is implied by any community or organization to which he may be attached. Rick Sutcliffe, (a.k.a. The Northern Spy) is Professor of Computing Science and Mathematics and Assistant Dean of Science at Canada's Trinity Western University. He completed his fifty-fourth year as a high school and university teacher in 2024. He has been involved as a member of or consultant with the boards of several commercial and/or educational organizations and participated in developing industry standards both nationally and internationally. He is a long-time technology author and has written two textbooks and ten alternate history SF novels, one named best ePublished SF novel for 2003. His various columns have appeared in numerous magazines and newspapers (both dead tree and online formats) since the early 1980s, and he's been a regular participant and speaker at churches, schools, and academic meetings and conferences. He and his wife Joyce celebrated their fiftieth anniversary in 2019 and lived in the Langley/Aldergrove/Bradner area of B.C. from 1969 to 2021 and cancer happened, so he latterly continues alone, depending heavily on family and friends to manage.

URL s for Rick Sutcliffe's Arjay Enterprises:

The Northern Spy Home Page: https://www.TheNorthernSpy.com

opundo : https://opundo.com

Sheaves Christian Resources : https://sheaves.org

WebNameHost : https://www.WebNameHost.net

WebNameSource : https://www.WebNameSource.net

nameman : https://nameman.net

General URLs for Rick Sutcliffe's Books:

Author Site: https://www.arjay.ca

TechEthics Site (Fourth edition of text; the fifth has been released; site to be re-ded=signed real soon now) : https://www.arjaybooks.com/EthTech/index.htm

Publisher's Site: https://www.writers-exchange.com/Richard-Sutcliffe.html

URL s for one product mentioned this month:

Wipf&Stock site for the 4Civ book Volume One: https://wipfandstock.com/9798385226818/the-fourth-civilization-volume-one/

Wipf&Stock site for the 4Civ book Volume Two: https://wipfandstock.com/9798385232932/the-fourth-civilization-volume-two/